i dont expect you to read this whole thing. alot has happened this year.

wow. is how to describe how this year went.

i started out this year in a very good way; i decided to try again with a guy i really liked. although that didnt work out, he has a place in my heart. he taught me quite a bit about myself. and thats why i changed how i view things now. i will never be the least bit dependent on anyone, i will not need anyone. [for now; im still young] i won't let one person have so much control over how my days go, or my happiness. he hurt me more than anyone has hurt me ever. i thank him for that, in a way, because now i realize i deserve better than that, and how we ended up wasn't good. it was a game. and there was just too much jealousy that neither of us could get over. where we ended up is the best way i think it could have ended up, there was just no hope. im sure hes happy where hes at and im most deff. happy with where i am.

summer brought many new experiences that got me to where i am now. i made alot of friends. there was never a dull day. i dont mind the crazy lifestyle i was living. i like being active and not just sitting around all the time. friends are the world. and they always will be. crazy times. stressful on occasion, but my eyes opened to alot of new things, feelings i thought people could never feel. i seen alot of people at their worst, and at their best. i was there for my closest friends when they needed me most and nothing will ever quite be like this summer.

school. it changes alot of people. i lost one of my best friends to something totally ridiculous but it made me gain new friends and it made me a stronger person. theres only more to come, but i dont regret a thing.

old and new friends. i learned that friendships can last forever. i am still friends with all my favorite middle school friends [ nikki; jazz; eric; sayer] and they are still as cool as ever. these people will never leave my side as i will never leave theirs. i love you guys dearly. and my newest friends [ ashley; sam; dani d.] i learned that i do have trust issues, although i met two of you before i obtained my issues it did take one of you time to gain my trust. but you guys mean alot to me and im glad i became friends with you.

new love. i knew this guy for a while, his name is brent. i just didnt talk to him until recently. but i knew from the time i started talking to him, that he would change my life. for the better and he has. i want this relationship to last, im sure i want it to be my last. my longest. forever. ... his personality makes me just go crazy in the best way, i never met anyone who means more to me. hes what keeps me chill and makes me think before i act. and has taught me many things. he knows what he is talking about, even if i doubt him, he always ends up right in someway, so i actually listen to what he has to say. and hes making me a better person, whether he knows it, wants to believe it, or not. ilovehim. plain and simple. hes amazing.

im looking forward to next year, i hope it brings me many great adventures. hopefully more positive than this year. but who knows right? but... i know i have someone i love right beside me through it all this year.

well guess what children...

its time to growup.
[:

can you handle it. i know i can. only the strongest will survive.